Southern Spirits Read online

  “Chandler, let me lift you a little so you can drink,” he said softly as he watched me.

  The nurse leaned over and grabbed the control, raising the bed under me as Banton pulled me up.

  “Ahh!” I screamed as pain shot down my neck. From his touch or the muscles in my neck, I was unsure.

  “I’m so sorry, Andie. I’ll stop.”

  “Lieutenant Gastaneau, here is a straw. This will help,” the nurse said softly as she handed a straw to Banton. He placed it in the glass, and then held it to my lips.

  I took a long drink, the cool water soothing my throat. It felt good. I took another. I was so thirsty I could have sucked down a gallon of water.

  Banton pulled it away, breaking my contact with the straw.

  “Enough, we don’t want it to come back up on us,” he murmured, placing the glass on the table beside the bed.

  I lay still, looking up at the ceiling. After several moments, Banton broke the silence in the room.

  “Chandler, why won’t you look at me?”

  What could I tell him? I was so confused. He couldn’t know. I felt as though if he looked deeply enough into my eyes, he would see every deep, dark memory I was hiding.

  “No secrets between us, remember?” he said softly, placing his face back on the pillow beside me.

  “I just want to sleep, Banton.” I closed my eyes tightly, willing the images that were creeping in to stay away.

  “You will obey me, and you will tolerate my hands on you!

  “I keep you alive only to breed you, and for you to take care of my sacrifices. If you disobey me, I will kill you, and let the crew have you. Do you understand me?”

  “Quiet, Bitch!”

  The dam I’d held in place the last few days broke. Banton was offering me solace, comfort, and a love that I couldn’t accept until I felt clean…until I faced the demon. I cried so hard and so bitterly that both the doctor and the nurse came running down the hallway.

  “God, Chandler…what did they do to you, baby? Oh, Andie, please, shhh. I’m here, I’m here, and you’re safe. I’m not going anywhere,” he said over and over again as he tried to pull me to him.

  “Please, Banton…don’t. I can’t stand it. Please don’t,” I pleaded as I sobbed.

  “What, Chandler?” He sounded so wounded, so helpless.

  “Don’t touch me. I can’t stand it.” I pleaded as I searched his face through my tears. It came out wrong, I knew it did, and I knew it hurt him. He pulled away and looked down at me, horrified.

  “You don’t want me to touch you?” he whispered in confusion as the nurse fought to give me a shot.

  “Calm down, Mrs. Gastaneau. We are going to give you something to help you sleep, now. It’s mild and it won’t hurt you. You need to rest,” The doctor took the seat beside the bed that Banton had vacated.

  The doctor had to know what had happened to me. I knew how much damage Dante had inflicted on my body, and the signs had to still be there. The doctor was my only escape. I wanted to confide in the kind, gray-haired doctor beside me.

  I swallowed and stilled my breathing.

  “Doc, please, can I talk to you alone?” I whispered. He turned and spoke to Banton and the nurse.

  “If you don’t mind, I would like to spend a few moments alone with Chandler.”

  “No, Doc…I’m not leaving her,” Banton replied, taking a step forward.

  “Lieutenant Gastaneau, please step into the hallway. Your wife wants to talk with me privately, and I will call you back in momentarily.”

  Banton looked betrayed. The nurse took his arm, leading him through the doorway with his shoulders hunched in defeat as he left the room. Several painful moments passed as I tried to formulate what I wanted to say. I could hear Banton’s voice as he talked to John and Brie in the hallway. He sounded so distraught.

  “Chandler, what can I do to help you?” the doctor broke the heavy silence in the room.

  “You know about my condition? That I’m a Sange Mele?”

  “Yes, Chandler. They brought me along to treat you specifically. And I know you’re pregnant. All the tests indicate you are fine, and you haven’t lost the baby. I haven’t told Banton yet. I thought you would want to do that.” He smiled down at me, and then his smile changed to concern as he watched my horrified expression.

  “No. NO! NO!” I screamed, a blood curdling scream that could have wakened the dead.

  The poor doctor seemed to age a hundred years. He placed his arms on my shoulders as he tried to quiet me.

  “You have to get it out, now! Get that thing out of me, now!” I sobbed as he continued to try to reason with me. As I slowed my rant to drag a ragged breath, light dawned in his eyes.

  “Chandler, you were attacked on board the Orco ship?”

  I nodded slowly.

  “You appear to be much more than a month along. You surely were pregnant before you were kidnapped. When was your last cycle?”

  I calmed somewhat, realizing the baby could be Banton’s.

  “I…a few days before Will was killed. I don’t know, maybe seven days before I was taken?”

  “Did you and Banton have sex before you were taken?”

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  “When were you raped, Chandler?”

  “I don’t know…” His questions hurt my head. “Maybe…two or three days before I was rescued. I’m not sure…I’ve lost all track of time.”

  He smiled down at me reassuringly. “I really don’t think the tests I ran would have been conclusive if you’d conceived from the attack. I want you to calm down and consider you might possibly have been pregnant when you were attacked. I understand how you are hurting, and I understand your aversion to being touched.”

  “It’s not just Banton, Doctor. I don’t want to hurt him. It’s anyone touching me,” I sobbed softly.

  “I understand that, Chandler. Yours is a common reaction to the trauma. I addressed your wounds when you came in, and suspected you might have been abused. I didn’t say anything to your husband, but he knows.”

  “How? I don’t want him to know,” I sobbed as he tried to quiet me again.

  “I can see it in his eyes when he asks you. He’s tortured, Chandler, and he wants to help you. I know how much he loves you. He hasn’t left your side for a second. I’ve never seen anyone cry as hard as he did when I told him both your shoulders were dislocated, one of them broken.”

  I nodded at him. I’d already guessed Banton was guilt-ridden about hurting me during the rescue.

  “He saved your life, and he’s trying to save it again. Tell him what happened, at least part of it. In the meantime, I will run more tests, and we’ll put your fears to rest about the baby.”

  The baby. As if we didn’t have enough to deal with. I had to know. I had to do something if it wasn’t. I couldn’t stand the thought if it was…

  “Chandler, please, put this out of your mind, until we know. Don’t do that to yourself. That is an order,” the doctor said firmly. Then his gaze softened.

  “Can I let your husband back in? Do you want him here?” he asked softly.

  I nodded.

  “Can you tell him about the attack?”

  I shook my head and cried out at the pain in my neck and shoulder.

  “Do you want me to tell him? That might be easier,” he offered softly.

  I nodded slowly. He patted my leg and then rose and opened the door.

  “Can I see her now, Doc?” Banton pleaded in the doorway.

  “First I need a word with you, and then we’ll get you back to her. Brie, would you like to sit with Chandler for a while?”

  John’s voice interrupted. “Brie, go on in. I’ll stay with the babies next door.”

  The door opened again, and Brie entered and closed it quickly. She sat down beside the bed and took my hand in hers. As I connected with her emotions, I was calmed enough to endure her touch.

  We sat in silence for at least ten minutes or more. I finall
y opened my eyes to gaze at her, the tears pooling like I knew they would when I looked into her eyes.

  “Oh, Chandler! What have they done to you?” she whispered as she stroked my cheek. “I know. I can feel your pain and self-loathing. Why are you doing that to yourself? Stop it!” she admonished me as I looked up at her.

  “I think you know why.”

  “I have my suspicions. Chandler, I was attacked in much the same way before Lucien took my life. That was part of my struggle when I was trying to find my way back to John. Don’t let this come between you and Banton, Chandler. The Orcos did this to you! It’s not your fault and you did nothing wrong! You are beautiful, strong, loving…and Banton adores you. Let us all help you,” she pleaded as tears rolled down her cheeks.

  Lucien had attacked her like Dante attacked me. Only she could remember her attack. I was grateful I couldn’t.

  Her admission gave me strength and hope.

  “I’m so sorry, Brie. I didn’t know.”

  “Oh, Andie, it helps to talk about it. I know that now. Put it behind you. It will take time, but I’ll help you.”

  I nodded as I gave her a weak smile.

  “Thank God. We’ve all needed to see you smile.”

  I felt more normal, more human…more myself as I talked to my friend. I was talking to my friend who I had shared so much with already.

  “Brie, there’s a small problem.”

  “Honey, after all we’ve been through, it’s bound to be a small problem. Bring it,” she teased, stroking my cheek.

  “The doctor just told me I’m pregnant.”

  She was silent. A thousand emotions ran through her hand and into my body in silent communication. The emotion I picked to cling to was extreme love and acceptance.

  As tears gathered in her eyes, she whispered “Well, okay then. We’ll deal with it.”

  I teared up again. “Brie, what if it is…”

  “Then we’ll deal with it. But it could be Banton’s, right?”

  I nodded forcefully.

  “Then I’m sure it is. I won’t have any other outcome. Are you going to tell him?”

  “No, not till I know.”

  “Okay. Then it’s our little secret.”

  Banton pushed the door open and stepped back into the room. He’d showered and was cleanly shaven. He looked like my Banton again.

  “I’m going to leave you two alone. Call me if you need me. I’m just next door. I’m going to go and save John from a dirty diaper change now.” She reached down to hug me and kissed my forehead as she left the room.

  Her touch was uncomfortable but tolerable. It was getting easier.

  Banton eyed me warily as he moved to sit down beside the bed. I couldn’t tell from his expression if the doctor had told him yet or not. I was nervous. When was that damn shot supposed to take effect, anyway? I wished I’d fallen asleep before he’d returned.

  “I’m sorry I was gone so long. John told me I stunk and that was probably the reason you wouldn’t let me touch you,” he said wryly as I smiled at him.

  “You definitely didn’t stink. I smelled you before I woke, and you smelled clean, like your soap. You smelled like my Banton,” I whispered, smiling at him again. “But I’m glad you shaved. I can see your dimple again.”

  He returned my smile, and my heart melted. He raised his hand slowly, giving me time to decide whether I wanted him to touch me or not. I nodded once, and he touched the back of his fingers softly against my cheek as he shut his eyes.

  I reached up and held his hand against my face as I turned to kiss his palm.

  “Oh, Chandler. I love you so much,” he whispered, cautiously keeping his distance. “I want to scoop you up and hold you in my arms, but I don’t want to hurt you,” he said huskily as he opened his eyes.

  “I would love it if you would lay your head beside mine on the pillow. That was nice,” I whispered up to him as he nodded. He slowly moved toward me, and then placed his head gently down on the pillow, leaving about three inches between us. I could smell his breath…clean and minty. He’d just brushed his teeth. I silently wondered how bad my breath smelled, having been asleep for how many days? I had no idea.

  He continued to stroke my cheek as he gazed into my eyes. Finally, I felt my eyes droop as the medicine began to take effect.

  “Sleep, sweetheart. I want you to sleep. I’ll watch over you, and I’ll be here when you wake,” he assured me, pulling the sheet up under my chin. He tucked it in gently around my arms, being careful not to touch me too much. It was so calming. I drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter Thirty

  “Call my Momma and Daddy, and tell them Chandler woke up last night. Doctor Delsant called ahead and an ambulance is taking us straight to Renault. Call Singleton, and if he is back, have him meet us there.” I heard Banton barking orders into his cell phone as I woke. It was a comforting sound.

  I opened my eyes slowly and scanned the room. Banton stood in the corner, his hand over his ear as he listened into the phone again.

  “Mr. Lon, it’s Banton….yes, we’ll be stateside sometime this afternoon…no, no…she’s awake. Well, she’s asleep right now, but she woke from the coma last night. She’s doing as well as can be expected, under the circumstances…No, I don’t, I’m sorry. I know you want to take the twins, but Chandler will want them near us. Will you come and stay with Claudia? Maybe we could let you take them there, so you can bring them to Chandler whenever she wants to see them. No, I don’t know how long Renault will keep her…I’ll call you when we get there. Thank you, Mr. Lon…for everything. Yeah, I love you too. Bye.”

  He hung the phone up, and slipped it in the pocket of his jeans. I realized he was in civilian clothes. He looked good. He wore a white T-shirt, a pair of faded jeans, and a white linen shirt opened down the front. He turned, and his eyes widened when he saw I was awake.

  “Hey, sweetheart, how do you feel this morning?” He grinned, his million dollar grin that deepened his dimple. My heart melted in spite of everything. He loved me. Somehow I had to find the strength to make everything okay.

  “I’m better. My head doesn’t hurt today,” I murmured, aware of the vile taste in my mouth. I pushed up, wanting to sit up.

  “Wait, baby…let me help you,” he offered as he rushed to man the controls on the bed.

  “Just say when,” he said, cautiously watching me for any sign of pain. As I came to about a forty-five degree angle I winced, and he stopped the bed.

  “Enough for now?” he asked softly. I nodded at him and smiled carefully.

  “I’m so glad to see you smile. I was so lost last night. I didn’t know what to do,” he said, a shadow crossing his face.

  I still couldn’t tell if the Doctor had told him I’d been attacked. He’d surely had enough time. I thought again about the doctor and the tests he mentioned. I panicked, realizing I would be leaving the ship today and going to Renault’s in N’awlins. I would have to tell it all over again!

  The monitors spiked, my heart rate increasing.

  “Chandler, calm down. I can hear your heart racing. I’m sorry I said anything about last night,” he said, sitting down beside me. “Is that it, or are you upset about something else?”

  “I didn’t know I would leave Dr. Delsant so soon. We’ll be in N’awlins today?” I tried to sound cheery but failed miserably. His smile faded, and in a nanosecond he guessed my distress and knew I’d confided in the kindly Doctor.

  His voice was choked, but controlled. “Chandler, Dr. Delsant will travel with us and stay at Renault’s until you are settled in. Don’t worry,” he said, reaching up to touch my forehead. I winced, involuntarily moving away from him. His expression immediately registered remorse.

  “I’m sorry, Chandler. I didn’t mean to scare you. I know I need to let you know before I do that, I forgot.”

  The pain in his eyes was awful to see. I reached out and held my hand up to his face. He placed his cheek there, and I stroked it as he shut his eyes.
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  I had to dispel the tension in the room. I took a deep breath and tried to get my brave on.

  “What did the doctor tell you last night?” I whispered.

  “Enough.”

  I looked back up at his tortured gaze, the tears pooled in his eyes. I nodded slowly as he spoke.

  “Chandler, please…can I hold you?” he whispered the plea that I dreaded most. I hesitated, my eyes opening wide with fear. I couldn’t control it.

  “Andie, baby…your eyes,” he said as he stood abruptly.

  “What?”

  “When did your eyes start glowing?” he asked softly as he gazed down at me.

  “What?” I asked again, mortified.

  “Chandler, you didn’t know? Your eyes…they’re glowing, beautiful turquoise flecks just like the babies,” he whispered as he reached out slowly, letting me know he wanted to touch my face.

  I nodded, and he closed the distance, sliding his thumb across my jawline. “You are so beautiful, Chandler. Please, can I hold you?”

  “Yes,” I whispered back, terrified. He took a deep breath and sat down gently on the side of the bed. He methodically moved each hand behind me, one under my lower back, and one on my left shoulder. He slowly pulled me into his chest as I held my breath, his touch evoking shudders I couldn’t explain. I could feel his heartbeat. He smelled so good, so familiar. As my nose brushed his neck, I melted into him. His arms tightened around me as he tangled his fingers in my hair.

  “I love you, Chandler. You are going to be all right, I promise you. I will move heaven and earth to see you well and whole again.”

  He was holding me, and it felt good. I could let him touch me and not feel badly. I relaxed against him further as the damn broke for the second time. Minding the leads and IV’s still hooked to me, he pulled me completely into his lap, gently stroking my hair and whispering against my cheek.

  “Baby, cry it out. You cry all you want to, I’m here. I’m here for you, Andie.”

  I tightened my grip around his neck as he rocked me back and forth in the bed. He held me and rocked me for an hour or more as the sun rose and sent bright light across the foot of my bed.

  I finally loosened my grip on his neck when the doctor came into the room.