Southern Spirits Page 29

  “Oh gosh…they’re mobile,” I breathed. Banton chuckled at my reaction. He pulled Matty over to his chest and kissed the back of his head softly as Matty resumed reaching for his toes.

  I shook my head. “It’s too soon…they’re barely two months old!”

  “I’m glad I got to see this first,” he smiled up at me as I knelt on the bed with Elly. I finished dressing her, and then picked her up in my arms. Banton gazed at me over Matty’s head, and his eyes were so full of love…my heart melted.

  Our moment was interrupted by the doorbell. Banton glanced down at his watch.

  “Hmmm. Ten o’clock. I guess she decided to come after all,” Banton muttered, rising to go downstairs.

  “Do you want me to come down?” I asked warily.

  “Of course.” He smiled over his shoulder as he left the room.

  I could hear Banton greet our visitor when I started down the staircase with the twins.

  “Hi, Alex. How are you,” he greeted her. She stared at him.

  “Hello, Banton. It’s been a long time.”

  “Would you like to come in?”

  “Yes,” she almost whispered, catching sight of me. She was dressed in another short, wispy skirt that showed off her tan, long legs. I was achingly aware of her blonde locks and dark tan this morning. She took only one step forward, just inside the doorway. She was staring at the babies in my arms.

  Banton walked over hurriedly and took Ellyson from me as he turned back to her. Placing his arm around me, he introduced us.

  “Alexandra, this is my wife, Chandler. And these are our babies, Matty and Elly.”

  She stood there staring much like she had the day before. I couldn’t tell if she was stunned by the babies, or if she still couldn’t believe Banton was married.

  Her eyes narrowed as she studied me and Matty, and then she jerked her head back up at Banton.

  “I can see you are still determined to talk to me with your wife present, so I might as well come out with it,” she said, backing out a step onto the front porch. She reached down to her side, and then urged a small child, not more than two years old or so, into view.

  “Banton, this is your son, Reece.”

  The air was sucked from the room.

  * * *

  I closed my eyes. A hundred thoughts ran through my mind at once, but the one I zeroed in on was she has to be lying.

  “My son?’ Banton’s voice was incredulous. “Alexandra, we both know that’s not true.” I opened my eyes to stare at him.

  “I came here today because I felt like after all this time you needed to know he existed. He needs a father,” she answered huskily as she picked the child up in her arms.

  I was already in defense mode. I searched the boy’s features. He had blue eyes like his mother, a round face, and black, thick slightly curly hair. I looked down at Matty’s black hair and my heart sank.

  Could this be Banton’s son? Banton had a child with someone else? The pain that tore through my heart was unimaginable.

  Banton turned to look at me warily. I kept my face cool, trying not to let my inner hurt show.

  After several awkward moments, I found my voice.

  “Let’s not stand here in the doorway. Please go into the living room and sit,” I suggested as I turned to lead them in. I heard Banton shut the door behind me.

  Motioning for Alexandra to take a seat by the fireplace, I sat across from her on the sofa with Matty on my lap. Banton predictably sat down beside me with Elly.

  “Alex, if he is my son, why are you waiting until now to tell me,” Banton asked wryly.

  If he is? My heart rose into my throat. No!

  “When my father found out I was pregnant, he took a transfer to Virginia. He wanted me to get an abortion, but I refused. When I convinced them that I was going to have the baby, my mom and dad sent me away. I wanted to contact you, but you had been deployed. I of course was busy after I gave birth to him and I’ve been planning to come and see you, but my Dad didn’t want me too. But now they’ve turned their back on me,” she murmured as she placed her lips on her son’s head. She then looked back up at me. “I have nowhere else to go.”

  “Alexandra, I’m sorry you aren’t on good terms with your family, but that doesn’t explain why you would come here now after all this time,” Banton said forcefully as he placed his arm around me protectively.

  “I can’t believe you are being so cold about this. I thought you would be more…I thought you loved me,” she whispered as a tear slipped down her cheek.

  I felt like someone had punched me hard in the chest.

  She looked desperate. I found myself feeling sorry for her…feeling sorry for the small boy with the curls that looked like Matty’s. This beautiful, wounded woman wanted my husband. She loved him and wanted him to be a father to her son. My world turned upside down. I felt like an intruder in my own home.

  I couldn’t look at Banton. I knew if I did, the tight reins which held my emotions in check would break.

  Banton’s voice sounded like a parent reasoning with a small child.

  “Alex, you appear to need someone to help you. But he’s not mine. We only went out once.”

  “Twice. And it only takes once,” she murmured as she looked back up at him through her thick, model-like lashes.

  “And I’m not completely sure we were ever together that way.”

  She exploded. “Banton! How can you say that after the night we spent together? You were so loving! You said such sweet things to me,” she cried out as the little boy jumped in her lap and watched her warily.

  I had to leave the room, and quickly. I was sick, angry and jealous, all rolled into a quivering mess. I had to escape, to think. I couldn’t take anymore.

  Rising quickly, I startled Banton. “Alexandra, why don’t you let me take…Reece, isn’t it…into the other room with the twins, so you can talk about this in private. I don’t think the kids need to be here,” I reasoned, watching the little boy’s wide eyes. I felt sorry for him.

  Not waiting for her approval, I rose with Matty and took Elly from Banton, and then hugged them both to my chest with my left arm. I walked over to her and smiled as warmly as I could manage at her little boy. He smiled back and took my hand, following me into the dining room. I could still hear their voices from the living room. My Aldon hearing was sharper than ever.

  “She’s a lot nicer than I would be, if my husband’s ex showed up with his love-child,” she said snidely as I sank down into one of the dining chairs, placing the twins in the floor.

  “You aren’t my ex, Alexandra. You are over-dramatizing our involvement. And Chandler is a kind, loving person. She is amazing.” His voice was forceful and resolute.

  “Banton, I understand you are married. But you didn’t know about your son. That might change things a bit,” she said softly, changing her attitude.

  “Alex, stop this. We never had a relationship. I was drunk the one night we could have possibly been together, and I remember none of it. I’m sorry. I know that you wanted more from me after we went out but I just didn’t feel that way about you. You lied to me about your age,” he started as she tried to interrupt him, “and I would have never gone out with you in the first place if I’d known how young you were.”

  “I know, you have always been such a sweet, caring man,” she murmured as I heard her chair creak. I knew she had risen, probably walking over to him. I glanced down at the little boy in front of me. He watched me warily, not knowing what to do. I absentmindedly handed him some baby toys from the tabletop, and he sat down with them in the floor beside the twins.

  “No, Alex…stop. This is awkward.”

  There was a long pause. What did she do? Did she make an advance toward him? I was irate, wanting to fly back to him. I waited, holding my breath.

  “If you need money, I will help you. I’m only helping you out because I would help anyone out in your situation.”

  “Banton, you do still care. You
do still want me,” her voice was soft and silky.

  “Alexandra, please. Stop looking at me like that. Don’t read anything into my helping you,” he said forcefully.

  If there was a chance this little boy could be his…how could he treat her so callously? Part of me was relieved he was being firm with her. The Banton I knew --my Banton would never treat her this way if he thought the boy was his. Hadn’t he told me he wasn’t sure about that night? That he might have had sex with her? I thought I was going to be sick.

  I swallowed the huge knot rising in my throat.

  “I can see the fact you have a son…that we have a son, is going to take a while to sink in. I’ll go and let you break all of this to your wife. When you are ready to see me, you can call me on this number. Your son and I will be waiting,” she purred as I wrapped my arms around myself.

  I glanced down at the child in question. He handed the toys, one by one, to the babies. Elly laughed at him, and he grinned back at her. I studied his smile. There was no trace of the dimple that marked my children.

  “There is nothing to break to my wife. If you are going to keep pushing this on me, I have to insist we all do blood tests and clear this up once and for all,” Banton said forcefully, his tone indicating he’d reached his limit.

  “I can’t believe you are throwing us out,” she declared as I heard her sob.

  “I’m not throwing you out, Alexandra. I told you I will help you. But I’m not taking your word that Reece is my son. I’ll discuss this further after we’ve gotten the results of the tests,” he stated plainly. I heard their footsteps coming across the foyer. I glanced up into her tear-stained face.

  “Come, Reece! Come here,” she choked out, grabbing his hand roughly and pulling him up from his perch between the twins. He winced in protest when she pulled him toward the front door.

  “Mommy, pway. Weece wants to pway wif babies,” he sniffed. She swung him up unceremoniously on her hip.

  “Alexandra, don’t be so rough with him, you are angry with me,” Banton said softly, his concern for the child evident.

  “Oh, so now you sound like his father,” she said in a pouting manner.

  “No, I can’t stand to see anyone handle a child roughly. I will call you to let you know when I have our appointments set up,” Banton said as she slammed the front door.

  I sat in silence, staring at the fireplace. Matty flipped himself over on the rug and pushed up, reaching his hand out and touching my leg. I instinctively reached down and picked him up and sat him in my lap. As I placed my lips against the back of his head, Banton crossed quietly beside me and bent over to pick up Elly. He turned and faced me. I couldn’t look up at him. I closed my eyes, my lips still pressed into Matty’s hair.

  “Chandler,” Banton called to me softly. “Are you all right?”

  I opened my eyes and looked up at him. My eyes stung with the sudden rush of moisture as the tears pooled.

  “Oh, Chandler. You have to know,” he began as I shook my head. I looked up at the tortured expression on my husband’s face.

  “No, I don’t know. I don’t know anything right now,” I whispered. “I think I need to be alone,” I muttered as I rose.

  I walked silently down the hallway into the kitchen. Methodically I opened the refrigerator and removed two of the pre-mixed bottles for the babies. After I’d warmed them in the microwave, I turned to find Banton standing in the doorway with Elly.

  “I need to feed them and get them down for their nap,” I said without raising my eyes.

  “Chandler, let me help you,” he offered.

  “No, I’ve got them,” I replied as I took Elly from him. I could sense him following me when I climbed the stairs with the twins and entered the nursery. I sat down in one of our rockers, and carefully positioned each twin against me, and then rolled a bottle over on Matty’s chest. He’d already begun to hold his own bottle, and he took it in his hands and raised it to his mouth. I then turned to Elly, clutching her to me as I worked her bottle around with my chin and then crooked my wrist around her head to hold the edge of the bottle. She placed her little hands on her bottle as well, but I still had to support hers. They both watched me intently as they nursed. It was as if they sensed I needed them near me.

  I could feel Banton watching me from the doorway. After several moments he crossed the room quietly and leaned over, placing a kiss in my hair.

  “Chandler, please talk to me. I know this has to be upsetting to you,” he said. I shook my head furiously.

  “God, Banton…please. I can’t talk about this right now. Please, just leave me alone for a while. We’ll talk, later,” I whispered, choking back sobs.

  He stood, and then hesitantly walked out of the nursery and down the stairs. After the babies had finished their bottles, both of their eyes were drooping, so I placed them in their cribs. When I decided that they were both down for a nap, I made my way around the landing to our bedroom. After I had our door closed, the dam broke.

  I drew myself up against the pillows, wrapping my arms around my knees. My mind whirled around all the hurt. So many feelings…I couldn’t possibly sort them all out. Alexandra was lying. She knew Banton wasn’t the father of her baby. Who was, then?

  Reece was certainly the right age to be Banton’s, if the night in question did happen. If it did happen. Banton…my beautiful, dark, dimpled…sweet, sexy husband…didn’t belong only to me. The special birth of our babies, the only babies I’d be able to give him, was second. Banton has a child with someone else.

  I couldn’t wrap my head around the shocking accusation. I curled up in a ball in the center of the bed and sobbed. The image of Banton holding her son, embracing someone else’s child as his own, haunted me. The thought of him sharing that bond with another woman shredded me. The unwanted thought pushed through to the forefront…This other woman, from his past…This attractive woman from his past, who he’d been intimate with, could have more children.

  I closed my eyes tightly against the images…Banton, his naked body, wrapped in sheets in her bed… You were so loving, you said such sweet things to me…Banton, I thought you loved me…call me, your son and I will be waiting…

  “No! Banton, no,” I sobbed out loud. Then after several minutes of crying it out, I had to calm myself. I had to begin to think rationally, to get a grip on the hurt.

  If the blood tests came back positive, could I accept this child? Could I swallow my jealousy and hurt, and accept him as a sibling to my children? I hated myself for being so selfish. This wasn’t about me! I thought about him, about Reece…sweet, innocent, playing with my babies in the floor as his mother wormed her way back into Banton’s life. He was an innocent child, possibly Banton’s son. I rolled over and stared out the window.

  If he was Banton’s child, I would love him with all my heart. Because no matter what, I loved my husband with all my heart.

  Part of the bitter ache eased as I considered my feelings. That was at the root of my distress, that I might have to share my husband, and I wouldn’t be a strong enough person to handle it. If I was ever going to be worthy of Banton’s love, I had to be strong. I would have to love this child unconditionally. I finally drifted, exhausted with the overwhelming emotions of the events of the morning.

  I woke to warmth that enveloped me. I gazed toward the open doorway. Someone had opened the bedroom door. As I slept, someone had drawn the comforter over me. And that someone stroked my hair, his breath, warm and sweet, blowing into my hair as he breathed. I turned over to find Banton watching me, his head resting on the pillows above my head.

  “Hey,” he murmured as he stroked the side of my face. “You’ve been asleep for quite a while.”

  “I didn’t plan on falling asleep. Are the babies awake?” I asked, pushing up on the pillows.

  “Yes. Constance came home after you fell asleep, and I told her what transpired this morning. She helped me feed them and change them when they woke earlier, and then Ty suggested they tak
e them to Denham Springs so we could have some alone time.

  “What? To Denham Springs? Banton, I…”

  “Shh. They’ll be back later tonight. She packed formula and took their diaper bags. They’re going to eat with Mrs. Sue and Mr. Lon. She said they will be back around ten-thirty or eleven.”

  “But their car seats! Banton,” I protested.

  “Andie, I gave them your car keys. They took the Lincoln so the babies would have their safety seats,” he assured me.

  “I’ve never been away from them,” I whispered, tears gathering. I knew I was being silly, and I angrily wiped the tears away.

  Banton pulled me into his chest as he placed his lips in my hair.

  “Are we okay?” his voice sounded desperate.

  I pulled away to look up into his eyes. As he searched my gaze I read the anxiety in his face.

  “Yes, Banton. We’re going to be fine, no matter what the outcome. I’m sorry, it’s just hard. I hate the thought that you…that someone else…that she carried your child before I did. That she might have had a part of you inside her. I wanted to be the only one. This never occurred to me,” I whispered as I began to cry again.

  “Oh, Sweetheart, don’t. Don’t do that to yourself,” he said. He placed both his hands around my face and held it as he gazed at me. “You have every right to be upset. I’m upset. So I already called Dr. Lane and set an appointment up for her tomorrow morning.”

  “And Alexandra agreed?”

  “Yes. I called her and told her I wouldn’t see her again, or help her financially until she took the test. She protested at first, wanting us to use another doctor. I told her it had to be my doctor or the deal was off. I can’t have an outside doctor looking at my blood, or our babies.”

  I shook my head. “No. I know,” I murmured as he continued.

  “After you told me you wanted some time to think, I went downstairs and started making phone calls. I got the blood test squared away, and I called my Dad.”