Texas Hellcat Page 11

  “You don’t have to do this, Liam,” I insisted as I fought to keep my raging emotions out of my voice.

  “Baby, stop it. Let me hold you,” he breathed against my ear. “You don’t always have to be strong. Let me in, Kel.”

  I relaxed and the floodgates opened. He rested his lips on top of my head as I let myself go, crying tears over the attacks that had happened so long ago. I’d never shed tears over the rapes…that I could remember. I cried for my loss of innocence, for the fact my mother hadn’t sheltered me, for the loss of my childhood. I don’t know how long I cried, but finally the tears subsided, and I became aware of his hands, gently stroking my hair.

  Placing his hands gently on either side of my face, he brought his lips down to mine, placing a chaste kiss there.

  “How could you think you’d never run into him—when he’s a senator and you work PR in Austin?” Liam’s voice was soft but supportive.

  I paused for several moments before answering. I’d been in denial. “His base is Houston. I’ve always hoped our paths wouldn’t cross. And I always thought he would avoid me at all costs.”

  “What happened, Kel?”

  “My memories of my childhood are flashes, really. I have good, solid memories of my grandmother and of my aunt. I have solid memories of my mother, before the addictions began. Then after…I don’t know. There are flashes here and there. I remember him coming to see my mom. He was there such a brief time. He was different, he wore suits…nice clothes, you know? He wasn’t like the others. He was nice to us, brought us toys and things. He wasn’t around long, maybe months?”

  Liam nodded, urging me to continue.

  “We’d been living with Aunt Deb, then my mother seemed to be doing better, off the drugs and all, so we went back to her. That’s when he showed up and so did the drugs. She worked in his office, and I thought he was a new boyfriend,” I said as I began to cry again.

  “And he forced himself on you? Did your mother know?” he asked gently.

  I shrugged. “I…I don’t think so. He threatened me. Told me if I told her or anyone, he would hurt my little sister, too. I was terrified he might rape her, so I stayed silent.

  “How long did this go on?” Liam asked. His voice was deeper, raspy somehow, his hands now clenched into fists, his face suddenly flushed.

  “I…I don’t remember! I can’t…I’ve tried so hard,” I sobbed. “I’ve tried so hard to block it all out! I don’t know…” I began to cry again.

  “Okay, Shh. I’m sorry. I’ll quit asking questions. You’re okay, I’ve got you,” he whispered, pulling me into his chest. He placed his lips in my hair as my sobs quieted. “That bastard will never touch you again.” He tightened his arms around me.

  I nodded, taking a deep breath as he placed his lips against my forehead.

  “It wasn’t long after I found my mother dead. She’d overdosed while Dana and I were at school. I found her in the bathtub. I locked Dana out of the apartment until the police came to get her body. I didn’t want Dana to see her,” I whispered, describing my mother’s death for the first time out loud. “She’d died of an overdose. We went back to live with Aunt Deb, and it was right after she found out she had ovarian cancer. She was gone in less than a year,” I murmured.

  “Who did you live with after your aunt died?” he asked as he continued to caress my arms, holding me close to him.

  “We stayed in Aunt Deb’s house, no one knew my uncle had taken off again after her funeral, and we were alone. I took care of Dana until I graduated. Then Dana moved in with a friend when I moved to UT,” I explained softly. “My cousins insisted they’d inherited my grandmother’s farm, and my mother had been written out of the will years before. They kicked us out of the house.”

  “Christ, Kel…you’ve been on your own since you were sixteen?”

  I nodded. Numbness had set in after the exhaustion of releasing the pent-up emotions. Numbness and self-preservation mechanisms had been set for me years before. We sat silently, staring into the fireplace. After several moments, he released me to pour more brandy for both of us. After handing me my glass, he settled me back into the crook of his body as he sipped the amber liquid. As he continued to stare into the fire, he took a deep breath and looked down at me.

  “Do you have any idea how much I am in awe of you? Of what you’ve accomplished?”

  I shrugged as I continued to stare into the fire. “You do what you have to do. There was no one else for us to turn to.”

  “Do your cousins still own your grandmother’s farm?” he asked after several moments.

  “I guess. I haven’t been back to Fredericksburg since they kicked us out.”

  He shifted his weight again as he reached forward and placed his glass on the coffee table.

  “My father is a large contributor to Congressman Reeves’ campaign. I need to tell him about this. He needs to know what kind of man Reeves is before he helps to put him in the Governor’s chair. Can I tell my father what happened to you?”

  “No, please…I’ve never told anyone but you!” I gasped as the full realization of what he’d asked dawned on me. I could feel my throat constricting as waves of nausea swept over me. I jumped up off the sofa and backed away towards the door. “I should never have let my guard down. I shouldn’t have told you!”

  He stood, moving toward me. “Kel, calm down. Please, just think about it. I won’t say anything unless you say it’s okay. Would you really let that bastard take the Governor’s Office knowing what he is? You could take him down,” he said as he reached out to me.

  “Why is this so important to you?” I whispered, suddenly terrified.

  “He hurt you, Kel. He needs to pay for what he did to you. I don’t want a dime of my family’s money going to help him win. It’s simple.”

  I drew myself up to my full five-foot seven-inch height. “It might be simple for you, but it’s not so simple for me. I’ve lived with this for years. I’ve kept a secret. I pushed it to the back of my mind, because I’ve been terrified of what it meant! I can’t be with someone.” I closed my eyes painfully. “With you,” I held my hand out to him as I took a ragged breath. “There isn’t an intimate moment I don’t struggle to push those horrible memories away! Can’t you see I’ve lived in fear of anyone finding out? And you want me to go public with this…this sick memory that has made me so ashamed! He took my childhood away from me,” I continued, sobbing and angry at the same time.

  Liam crossed the distance between us in two strides, pulling me into his arms as he cradled my cheek in his hands. “Shh, okay. Please, I’m sorry, just calm down. Baby, I promise I won’t say anything,” he murmured as he continued to stroke my cheek. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  I began to relax with his promise to stay silent. As my breathing calmed, he slid his hand down behind my legs and swung me up into his arms.

  “Come on, let’s get you in bed. You need to get some sleep, you’re exhausted.”

  I just nodded against his neck. He entered his bedroom and sat me down gently on the bed. Room service had already pulled the covers back, and as I started to slide beneath them, he stopped me.

  “Here, let me help you get undressed,” he said, sliding his hands down my back to the place just below my waist where the zipper began. He silently slid it down, and then I let the dress drop around my waist. Liam’s eyes grew darker as he watched me. I wriggled the dress out from under me, and handed it to him.

  “You looked so breathtakingly beautiful tonight,” he breathed softly as I slid the thigh-high stockings down my legs, first one, then the other. As I placed them on the nightstand, he turned to place the dress across a chair. I watched him silently as he turned back. He reached out to touch a lace bow on my panties that perched right below my left hipbone. I drew my breath in…after the raw emotions I’d experienced at confronting my past, I wasn’t ready for intimacy.

  He sensed my unease and slowly shook his head. “You need to rest. Go on to sleep. I have some t
hings to do, so I’ll be back in a bit.” He leaned over and placed a kiss on my forehead. “Do you want something to sleep in?”

  He grinned down at me, remembering the last time I was here.

  “Yeah, t-shirt,” I whispered. He moved to the dresser and pulled one of his from the drawer. He helped me into it, and then pulled the covers up over me. I slid down underneath the fluffy down comforter.

  He paused for a moment, and then flicked the lamp out on the nightstand.

  “Goodnight baby,” he murmured as he shut the bedroom door.

  Eleven

  The nightmares of old came back with a vengeance. His handsome, perverted face hovered over me in the darkness. As his hand came over my mouth to smother my scream, I felt his hot breath in my ear. “Keep quiet, now. You wouldn’t want to wake little Dana now, would you? You don’t want me to involve her in this, just me and you,” he hissed as his mouth came down on my chest, his hands pulling at my nightgown.

  If I screamed, who would hear? Only Dana, and she was only ten. She couldn’t do a thing for me. My mother had long since passed out from whatever had been in the syringes he’d dropped on the table in front of her when he’d arrived.

  “Come on now, Kelly…it will only hurt a little, and I’ll teach you how. You’ll like it, just like your mother does,” he continued as I closed my eyes tightly, turning my head to bury my face in the pillow.

  “NOOO!” I screamed out.

  “What is it, what’s wrong,” Liam asked in the darkness. I felt his hand as he grasped my shoulder, pulling me back down against him. “Kel, you had a nightmare. It was only a dream,” he continued as he folded his arms around me. “You’re safe.”

  I shuddered, the vivid images in my head slowly fading away. I sighed, turning in his arms to face him. He pressed his lips against my forehead.

  “What was your dream about?” he asked softly.

  “The same thing it’s always about. That monster…the one who destroyed my life.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No.”

  He continued to caress my arms. “Have you ever seen anyone…you know, talked to a professional…about what happened to you?”

  “No.”

  “I know someone, a friend of mine who could help you if you want,” he murmured, his lips still pressed to my forehead. “It might help you get passed some of this.”

  I shook my head. “I know you want me to tell my story so your dad will know about him, but I already told you no, Liam. Please,” I begged, realizing he wasn’t going to let this go.

  “That’s not what I meant. I respect your right to privacy. I just thought it might help you to get some therapy for this, after all these years. It would just be between you and the therapist. I’ll pay for it,” he offered sweetly. “Just think about it,” he added, threading his fingers in my hair, pulling my lips to his. He placed a chaste kiss there, and as I gazed into his blue eyes sparkling in the darkness, warmth washed over me. He really, truly seemed to care about me. He could have bolted when I told him the secrets from my past. He could have easily let me go, could have been indifferent to me about the gala, but had gone out of his way to buy me the dress and shoes. And as hard as I’d tried after, he wouldn’t let me push him away.

  My stomach turned over at the thought. I’d let him in. I’d fallen in love with him. I’d never felt this way about anyone.

  “No one has ever cared before,” I whispered as I looked back and forth into his eyes.

  “Somehow I have the feeling you’ve never let anyone else in.”

  I continued to gaze into his eyes. “No, no one, until you,” I whispered as his lips closed over mine. When he finally pulled away, I added, “You are in. Please, don’t break my heart.”

  “Never. You can trust me, Kel,” he breathed as he kissed me again. He moved his lips slowly, being cautious. I ran my fingers into the hair at his temples, deepening my kiss as he slid his leg in between mine. I pushed against him and he moaned, sliding his hands up my ribcage under his t-shirt, pulling it up to my shoulders. I shrugged out of it as he slid his hands down my ribcage, around my waist and then down inside the lace at my hips. After he had me free of my lingerie, he cupped my face in his hands.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, the moonlight through the windows casting a glow across his face, making his beautiful blue eyes sparkle.

  “Yes, I’m fine,” I breathed as he moved against me. I realized I needed him to make love to me…to banish thoughts of the abuse.

  “You’re so beautiful, Kel. I’ve never felt like this with anyone. I can’t get enough of you,” he murmured, pressing his lips against my neck as I leaned my head back. He ran his lips over my skin, stopping to caress the skin just under my earlobe. I shivered at his feather-light touch. Who knew a soft touch could affect me so amazingly. He moved his hands between us and I reached down, holding him in my hands as he tore the foil packet open with his teeth.

  “Are you on something?” he asked.

  “Yes, the pill,” I whispered.

  “Good. Do you mind if we don’t use these? I hate them. I’m clean,” he said as he hesitated.

  “How do you know I’m okay?” I asked.

  He shook his head as he smiled down at me. “You’re perfect…in every way. Perfect for me,” he breathed as he threw the condom on the nightstand. He seemed so large, towering over me. But like before, he was gentle, seeming to cradle my entire body as he entered me.

  “Kel, you feel so good. I just want to stay inside, forever,” he whispered, moving against me as I began to build. I slid my lips slowly over his chest, circling one of his nipples with my tongue. All of this was still so new to me, I had no idea what turned him on.

  “Oh, Kel, when you moan, you send me over the edge. Come with me, Kel,” he murmured, catching my earlobe with his teeth. My insides clenched, pulling him in deep as waves of pure pleasure washed over me.

  “That’s it, baby,” he urged, shuddering as he joined me. When he began to still, I realized I hadn’t had to banish any images this time. It had been just me and Liam. A happiness I hadn’t let myself feel for a long time rushed in.

  “Again,” I said breathlessly, gazing at him. His eyebrows shot up.

  “Really? You are kind of a hellcat, Kel,” he wondered, rolling over, taking me with him. He positioned me on top of him, never breaking our intimate contact. “Your move,” he urged as I smiled down at him.

  “You bet it is, cowboy,” I whispered, moving against him. He grasped my hips, moving with me in the darkness. It didn’t take long, the familiar exquisite sensations washed over me, taking me to a place I’d only dreamed of.

  “You’re beautiful in the throes of passion,” he observed as he gazed up at me. My hair made a curtain around us as I paused over him.

  “The throes of passion? What is this, an English romance novel?” I laughed at his wording. As he ran his hands through my hair I added, “Mmmm…and you aren’t so bad yourself, Covington. I could do this all night long.”

  “That would be okay with me,” he grinned at me in the darkness.

  I sighed as he wound his arms around me. Spent after the intense physical activity, I rested my head on his chest.

  “Kel, I really like sleeping with you,” he murmured while he traced patterns down my back with his thumb.

  “Kind of guessed that,” I answered back.

  “No, I mean it. Even without the sex,” he retorted as I rose up to look at him square on.

  “We haven’t slept together without the sex,” I corrected as he shook his head.

  “Also not what I mean. I love being with you. I love waking up next to you. I love worrying about you, and I definitely love trying to make you happy,” he explained as my grin deepened.

  “You do make me happy,” I replied as I traced his lips with my finger.

  Liam shook his head as if to clarify his thoughts. When he spoke again, his voice was steady and measured.

  “I’m
falling in love with you, Kelly.”

  The air suddenly thinned in the room, taking my senses and equilibrium with it. Liam Covington had murmured the little words I imagined every girl he knew wanted to hear from him.

  I pressed my finger to his lips. “Please, don’t, I…” I breathed, trembling.

  “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life, Kel. I love you.”

  My hands shook as I cupped his face in them. Looking back and forth into his beautiful eyes, I murmured, “I’m in love with you too, Liam.”

  His face broke into the most beautiful smile.

  * * *

  “Liam Whelan Covington, open this damn door!”

  The faint pounding resumed, finally waking me from an extremely intense REM cycle.

  “What’s going on?” I asked sleepily. Liam was jerking his pants on at the end of the bed. I smiled as I focused on him, his tight, muscled butt and athletic legs were a nice sight to wake up to.

  “Sorry Kel, it sounds like my dad’s at the door,” he said, giving me an apologetic look as he jerked the bedroom door open. “I’m going to see what’s up. Get dressed, I’d like for you to meet him.” He shot me a megawatt smile.

  “Now? You’ve got to be kidding. And I don’t have anything other than last night’s clothes,” I retorted as I gestured toward my dress draped on the back of the chair.

  He turned back to the chest by the door, removing a pair of biking shorts and a t-shirt. “Here, put these on. I’m not hiding you in here. I want to introduce you to him.”

  The look on his face told me I shouldn’t argue with him. I shrugged back into my lingerie and then pulled the shorts on as I heard him open the door to the suite.

  “Dad, what are you doing here? Is something wrong?”

  “I’d say so. Why haven’t you answered your cell? I’ve called and called,” a deep commanding voice replied.

  “Sorry, I left it in here on the desk when I went to bed,” Liam answered. I could mentally picture him running his hand through his tousled hair.